If you’ve read my other posts, you know that I can be pretty passionate about a lot of different things. One of them of course being depression and the other being ptsd. Dealing with these major road blocks in my psyche has given me the opportunity to go deep inside of my brain and figure out exactly where these complicated feelings are coming from and why they play a huge role in my everyday life.
If you’ve ever had these lovely disorders then you know why I say every day. I have good days and I have horrible days but the crap I’ve gone through doesn’t just magically disappear because I’m going through a happy experience. It’s like a filter that I live my life through. I do admit that these experiences are something a lot of people struggle with and that’s what I want to understand and maybe relate to other people over. Help them understand themselves better and maybe help me understand people better.
Maybe somebody else is just as lonely and unwilling to compromise their own high personal standards in order to find somebody to drag into their lives for the sake of trying to fill that void. I want to be able to allow someone into my life that is real. That isn’t fake or trying too hard or unwilling to share in my experiences, even the bad ones. I want a full bodied wine dammit! I don’t want the cheap stuff that you can buy anywhere and if that means I have to go to Italy…well, I’ll do it. Speaking of which, to bring this wine analogy home, I am planning on going to the U.K., Ireland, Germany and Crete over the course of a year now that I have the very real opportunity to do so cheaply. So when I say I’m willing to seek out the people I’m generally attracted to in the places they come from, well that’s what I’m going to do.
So that’s what I feel strongly about. In a strange meandering way.